


J is for Joining

by chileancarmenere



Series: Alistair Alphabet [10]
Category: Dragon Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-05
Updated: 2012-02-05
Packaged: 2017-10-30 16:27:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/333725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chileancarmenere/pseuds/chileancarmenere





	J is for Joining

There are three of them, all standing in a semicircle with stomachs churning and fingernails digging into the palms of their hands. Alistair, the ex-templar recruit, Jauffrey, the mercenary from Redcliffe, and Hasin, the Chasind hunter that makes him nervous. Duncan has seen something in all of them, and even though Alistair feels bile in the back of his throat and for a penny he would go back to the Chantry, he still, somehow, trusts Duncan.

Jauffrey tries to strike up a conversation with Alistair as they wait, but Alistair, normally so quick to talk, finds that he can’t speak. Hasin stands a little ways off, silent and stern. In the stone room, there is nothing but a table with a white linen cloth thrown over it. The very air of the room is somehow forbidding. To Alistair, it says _this is not what you were born to. Go back_.

Alistair had sent word to Eamon that he had been conscripted by the Grey Wardens and he was going to Weisshaupt, to undergo the Joining. Though he had delayed their departure from Ferelden as long as he could, dawdling until even Duncan’s patience grew thin, he had not received a letter back. It made him feel uneasy. He had not told Eamon that he had _wanted_ to be a Grey Warden; this is the first step he has made in his life without his uncle’s approval. And without it, he feels naked and alone.

The wooden door swings inward with a creak, and Duncan pads into the room, bearing a great translucent crystal chalice. The liquid inside is dark and slops against the sides, looking unsettlingly thick. “We are ready for the Joining to begin,” Duncan says, his deep voice filling the cavernous room. “Long ago, the world stood on the brink of annihilation by the Blight. To save the lives of others, the first Grey Wardens drank of darkspawn blood and mastered their taint.”

Alistair’s stomach heaves and it is all he can do to not sprint from the room. Maker no, he can’t do this. This is too much to ask. Duncan sets the chalice on the table and begins to speak, ritualistic words that fill the air around him with power.

“Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows, where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten, and that one day, we shall join you.”

He picks up the chalice again and approaches Alistair, holding it out before him. Alistair swallows, his whole body shuddering in revulsion. _I can’t. I can’t. I can’t_. His hands won’t work. _Reach out and take it. No. I can’t_. He grits his teeth and almost lunges for the chalice before he loses his nerve. _Drink it. Drink it now_. He looks down into the swirling depths; it looks like runny mud. The prosaic comparison calms him for a second and he forces a swallow down.

As it hits his stomach his throat constricts; he gags, tearing at his throat. Can’t breathe, no air, he’s going to die. He falls on all fours, scrabbling in agony at his chest. Flashes of green light burst in front of his eyes, spreading out into a dark green mottled field. His ears are filled with a roaring, a screaming, it keens in his ears and blind as he is, he throws himself forwards to escape it. His forehead strikes the ground and a white flash explodes. A dragon. It sees him, turns towards him, it bends oddly in his vision and it’s gone. Darkspawn all around him, they’re tearing at his flesh, eating handfuls of it while he writhes under their cruel claws and screams, but they don’t hear. His skin is on fire, white fire, now it’s red, he strips the very skin off his flesh with his fingernails to extinguish the flames. He hallucinates, he twists in agony, he begs, he screams, the world goes black.

As he fades out, he hears a voice above him. “It is finished. Welcome, brother.”


End file.
